


Regret

by WanderingShiren



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: A little lapidot, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Gen, It's all angst, Mainly angst, POV Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Vent Piece, but it's not the focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 18:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15646722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingShiren/pseuds/WanderingShiren
Summary: Lapis relives some of her worst memories.





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

> A small vent piece I wrote.

It is cold.

That was the first thing Lapis notices.

It engulfs her. The darkness, squirming all around. The inky blackness where you can't see your hand in front of your face.

Her movement restrained by some unseen force, the ocean gem attempts to summon her water wings to no avail.

Hands outstretched, Lapis moves forward through the pitch dark. It doesn't take long for her fingers to find a soft but firm surface in front of her. Something turns in the darkness, looking over to whatever it was that touched it.

A single teal eye opens to peer directly through Lapis, followed by three more.

Lapis screams, but nothing ever comes out.

 

Suddenly, Lapis finds herself on a familiar shore. The day is turning to night in a cacophony of oranges and purples. Clouds litter the sky, foreshadowing a coming storm.

Lapis tries to move, but finds herself restrained.

Lapis peers around, noticing Steven in front of her, looking down at her.

“I don't understand!” Lapis hears Pearl call for him in the background. Steven turns to worriedly look over his shoulder.

“C’mon! I wanna help you! What can I do?”

Lapis feels a pang as she realizes where she is.

Trapped.

The mirror, her prison for over 5000 years, is where she finds herself prisoner now.

Before she can conjure up the images to explain to Steven how to free her, the boy is caught by Garnet.

“You’re coming with me, little boy!” Garnet says, lifting Steven from his spot on the beach.

“No! I-"

“Am in a lot of trouble.” Pearl interjects, coming over from the other side of the rock. “I should have never entrusted you with this.” Pearl snatches the mirror out of Steven’s hand.

“You don't understand! I’m-"

“Grounded. Pearl, put that thing back where it belongs,” Garnet states with finality, dragging Steven down the beach.

“Yes, Garnet,” Pearl responds. Pearl turns to Lapis, a shiver runs down the blue gem’s spine. In a flash of light, the mirror disappears into Pearl’s gem, never to be seen again.

 

Once again, Lapis finds herself somewhere new. The facade of a familiar barn in front of her. This time, she sees herself standing with Steven and Peridot. A spectator to what's about to happen.

“What do you say Lapis?” With those words, Lapis stomach sinks. Steven looks at Lapis’ form with hopeful eyes as he asks the question.

Turning away from the two people who mean the most to her, the real Lapis speaks.

“I’m not getting caught in the middle of another war.” She states, venom dripping from her voice.

“Wait, no!” Peridot calls after Lapis’ retreating form. “You’re supposed to reward me for my emotional honesty!”

With one hesitant look back, the real Lapis takes into space.

Lapis had no idea she was crying until she feels something wet drip down onto her shirt. The tears come freely as she gazes at Peridot and Steven, lost in shock as the real Lapis took off with everything.

She cries at the pain she can see, evident on two of the happiest of faces.

She finds her voice, finally, broken and sobbing in front of the two. She stutters out apology after apology to the two people who she loves the most for betraying them. She knows it won't help anything, but she sits there, stuck in that moment, apologizing again and again for what she had done to them until her voice is hoarse.

When she can no longer apologize, Lapis tries to hug the forms of the two, only to find that her arms pass right through them.

She resigns to sit on the dirt, sobbing uncontrollably to herself as the memory begins to loop, over and over.

Lapis’ tears pour like a river onto the uncaring ground as she gets to watch the heartbreak of her own doing on Peridot's and Steven’s faces over and over again, until she had no tears left to cry.

Lapis gazes at the dirt despondently, numbness filling her insides. The nothing ebbing at her being as she lets the feeling in, leaving her devoid of emotion.

 

In a burst of light, Lapis finds herself somewhere new. A familiar living room on the side of a distant shore.

A loud crash comes as a chair hits the ground in front of her, followed by the quick tapping of feet.

Small arms wrap around her as blonde hair fills her vision.

Lapis chokes and falls to her knees right then, Peridot's arms still tightly wrapped around her.

Lapis thought she had no tears left to cry.

She was wrong.


End file.
